Should Criminal background Checks be Apart of the Dating Process?
Posted by PopLover FEATURE, Love n Relationships 1:48 PM
An older woman in a swanky Harlem bar cackled old folk twang with her senior gal pals. Topics ranged from new Pepsodent improvements, to dialysis checkups, and last but surprisingly not least, the almighty love and relationship piece. "there aint no men left for the women round these parts, " gagged one lady. "nun but dem ole criminal kinds...sheesh, we women aint tryna date serial killers an' rapists," parched another. thought the dating scheme was over for the older gems of mankind but in a recent CBS interview with Chet Michaels, 77, it highlighted the increase in senior citizens turning to online matchmaking directories, like E Harmony and Match.com, to find love. In the words of Michaels, "I was at a point where I thought, 'Well, I'm not going to find that person.' And I was getting a little sad at that time, because the years go by and I didn't want to be alone," he says. "I thought I'm going to go for it. I'd rather do that than go to a bar." Two thumbs up for him.
Anyway, getting back on track, as the conversation continued, a young, contemporary chick, (let's call her "Sway," put her five cents in and calmly said "Well, what you don't know can't hurt you." What else, ladies and gents, could she have upheld, but the policy of "don't ask, don't tell?" The only appropriate question at this juncture would be, 'well, should women run criminal background checks on their potential lovers?' And...if yes, who should pay for it?
In a focus group conducted by Life and Style Union, five women and five men were placed in a solitary room, under the auspices of a Speed Dating Event. Prior to the event, each of the men were given cue cards, and written on them, a short and "delightful" personal description- "Child Molest," read one, "Financial Racketeer," read another, the rest " Serial Killer, Thief, Grand Larceny," you get the picture? The men were told to conceal these cue cards from the five women until prompted. An icebreaker began. None of the men, as directed, disclosed their criminal history, rather highlighted the more glam parts of their lives- food, children, fashion, entertainment, careers, the works.The women were observed to be very content with what they saw and heard. Then the drama unfolded.
After the icebreaker, the men held up their cue cards, each detailing a crime they had committed. Gasps filled the room. One woman said with a smile "I understand the message." Another exclaimed "I WOULD HAVE NEVER KNOWN BUT WHAT THE HECK! NOW I SHOULDNT DATE A MAN WHO HAS ALL THE SHIMMERY TRAITS I DESIRE? WHY? BECAUSE HE'S A RACKETEER? BIG DEAL!"
Her comment was rather interesting, as it suggested she'd prefer "not knowing" over awareness. From another perspective, she could have meant that because racketeering is deemed a "white-collar" crime, it shouldn't serve as grounds for not pursuing a relationship with the offender. Can running a criminal background check on a potential lover minimize the possibilities of a woman ever finding love? Frankly, today's society is riddled with misdemeanors and felonies. Celebrities are venerated for having spent time behind the iron cage, while laymen attain street cred. Does having a criminal record entirely influence a woman's attraction to a man? Or does it depend on the type of crime committed- the "oh he just pistol-whipped her once, and that was when he was 18, he 30 now," kinda deal? What's your take?
PopLover